Keeping Up With The Kardashians recap: 10 things we learned from the season 13 premiere

As the new season of KUWTK launches, we give you the lowdown on what to expect from episode one.

Kim’s Paris Fashion Week robbery. Let’s face it, that’s all we want to know more about from the new series of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

And we will, if the trailer is anything to go by. In the clip, Kim tells her sisters of her terrifying ordeal, and how she feared for her life. But calm down - as you won't be seeing anything else about it in episode one.

Robbery aside, what else is going on in the world of Kim, Khloe, Kourtney et al?

We sat down to watch the season 13 premiere (whilst eating biscuits decorated with Kim’s crying face) and here’s what we learned:

1. Kourtney and Scott’s new normal

Since the pair broke up last year, we’ve been dying for Kourtney and Scott to get back together.

Well we can pretty much count on them not getting back together anytime soon. While the pair, who share three children, Mason, Penelope and Reign, seem to enjoy hanging out and taking their brood on trips to Disneyland and the beach, they’re struggling to work out how to socialise together, without the kids.

It’s kind of awkward, with plenty of Kourtney side-eye.

2. They all love Steph Shep

 

 

Happy birthday Steph! Long live our threesome selfies.

A post shared by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on

Fans of Kim’s long-time assistant and Kourtney’s work out buddy Stephanie Sheppard are in for a treat as she gets a lot more screen time – the whole clan even go out for dinner while in Miami to celebrate Steph’s birthday. More Steph screen time please!

3. Prime 112 is their favourite Miami restaurant

Just in case you’re ever visiting Miami.

4. Kim swears. A lot.

It’s always been Khloe and Kris that aren’t afraid to drop an expletive or three, but this episode saw Kim take on that mantle.

5. Khloe’s cute when she’s loved up

Khloe’s kept her new relationship with NBA player Tristan Thompson under wraps, but she finally talks about him in this episode (Khloe: “He’s a Pisces, he’s Jamaican and he plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers”) and we get to meet him when she takes him along to Kanye’s I Am Pablo concert in Miami. And she’s super cute when she talks about him.

 

S E A S O N T H I R T E E N! The fantastic four. #kuwtk #tonight

A post shared by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on

6. Kim’s super-nosey

Kardashian fans will know Kim’s a die-hard snoop, and we see her in full force as she interrogates Khloe on her new boyfriend – which Kim only knew about from paparazzi pictures.

Kim herself says she knows not to believe everything she reads on the internet, but that “Khloe and an NBA player do go hand in hand.”

Cue Kim snooping and Kourtney and Khloe admitting they don’t tell her anything.

7. Kanye’s got muscles

Perhaps we’re the only ones who didn’t realise it but Kanye’s got muscles for days. All we’ll say is Kanye, a harness and Kim…

 

Bathroom selfie right before Pablo hits the stage

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

8. Their fashion is en pointe

Yep, there’s plenty of oversized I Am Pablo T-shirts worn with knee-high boots, athleisure wear with heels and chokers for days.

9. But the Dash stores are a bit naff

The sisters go to check on their New York and Miami stores and are a bit taken aback by how “2009” (Kourtney’s words) the merchandise is. Think diamante cosmetic mirrors, shiny gold Dash keyrings and some questionable beanies.

10. It’s hard to drink a Starbucks with a lip ring

...according to Kim. Important life lesson right there.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians is on E! - BT channel 321

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